I should be happy, I mean, I am happy. But I just feel like crying, because I feel so sad for someone, and I feel fucked up for screwing up situations. I am such a mentally wayward person myself. I've hurt so many fucking people in my life, especially innocent people. It hit me when someone told me that my friend changed so much because of me, I am the one to be blamed. Now that I'm witnessing someone else getting hurt because of him, I can't help but to blame myself. What shit have I gotten her into, and what shit have I gotten everyone else into. I honestly had no evil intention or motive right from the beginning. I just focused on doing whatever that makes me happy. Now I know that I have a price to pay for not giving two fucks about anything, and that is watching people around me suffer. I wish I wasn't so heartless.
